Risks
that put our children's, and sometimes our own, safety in
jeopardy, including enticement, and loss of privacy which
includes identity theft are threats to our personal safety.
Enticement
When
you think of the enticement of a child you might think of
some bad guy with candy or a puppy trying to lead your child
away. On the Internet enticement takes a little different
approach. The predator works to gain a psychological advantage
of the child before taking physical advantage. The process
of gaining psychological advantage is known as grooming.
Chat
rooms are generally the favorite shopping grounds for the
predators. Teens and preteens will talk openly about themselves
and provide plenty of information to the others in the chat
room, which includes the predators. The predators often
will indicate that they are also of the same general age
and background. Or, the predator will allow that he is just
a little bit older, and thus be an adult who takes the child
seriously unlike the child's parents or teachers. This provides
a platform to offer sympathy in response to the child's
complaints. This new 'friend' can then offer support and
advise, and possibly even gifts to draw the child in.
Eventually
the predator will begin to turn the conversations toward
sex by discussing "gross" topics or "can
you believe so and so got caught doing this or that."
Naughty pictures may begin to become part of the exchanges
between the predator and child. The grooming for a sexual
encounter is well underway, and this is not just chance.
This is a well-rehearsed plan on the part of the predator
and it is, and has been, used successfully and repeatedly
by many sex offenders.
Many
times the victim believes that they are in love with predator.
They only see the image that has been created in their mind
of this person. Rarely does it bear any resemblance to reality.
It is common for the victim to begin to withdraw from normal
friends and family and spend significant amounts of time
on the Internet interacting with the predator. Some children
are abducted, but many are enticed away from their homes
and run away to be with the one they 'love'. To recover
a child from this situation is doubly difficult. Not only
do you want to get them back physically, but you have to
recover them psychologically as well. See Katy
Tarbox's story.
Establish good communication with your child, and keep
the communication lines open.
Talk to your child and spend time with them online. Explain
the dangers that he/she might come across while on the
Internet1. Explain how chat rooms work and
that people may not be who they say they are.
Keep
the computer(s) in a common room where the monitor is
easily seen.
Use
parental controls appropriate for the age of the child.
If
your child was a willing participant do not blame him
or her. The child has been manipulated psychologically
and really is a victim.
If
you suspect you have a problem:
If
there is an immediate personal threat of harm to your
child: Call 911
To
report an emergency involving kids on the Internet:
Contact the police headquarters nearest you.
If the case involves a missing child or you are worried
that a child is being sexually exploited, contact The
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children’s
(NCMEC) CyberTipline
or call 1-800-THE-LOST (843-5678).
To
report incidents of unsolicited obscene material sent
to a child or to report child sexual exploitation, including
child pornography, online enticement of children for sexual
acts, child prostitution, child-sex tourism, and child
sexual molestation
Contact The National Center for Missing & Exploited
Children’s (NCMEC) CyberTipline
or call 1-800-THE LOST (843-5678).
What
makes the Internet good can also make the Internet bad,
and that is the rapid movement of data. When the data is
not personal private information, and it is available for
the use of anyone who wants it, it is a good thing. Online
research into loss of privacy, for example, is a benefit
of the Internet. On the other hand, data that is private
like your health records, past activities, social security
number, or phone number should not be available to just
anyone. Loss of privacy can have a devastating effect whether
resulting in embarrassment or resulting in identity
theft.
An
example of embarrassment is the case of a young man named
Gary. He made a digital clip of himself dancing and lip
synching to a song and posted it on the Internet. Once something
is posted to the Internet it is out of your control and
you cannot get it all back. Because of the clip's popularity,
Gary became the focus of media attention. As a result his
clip has been repeatedly reproduced and watched millions
of times. He eventually ended up taking refuge from the
attention in his family's home.
Previous news story from the International Herald Tribune Online site.
Cyberbullying,
described in the Risks - Behaviors section of this Web site,
often makes use of personal information to embarrass, harass,
and humiliate an individual. All
most everything is embarrassing to a teen if it is not their
idea to expose the information. An embarrassing or compromising
picture of them could be plastered all over the internet.
Past history may be exposed and once it is out there, there
is no way to get it back because it will be copied and redistributed
over and over again.
